Ask your average person what the single most annoying thing in the world is…. and they’ll probably say commercials. The annoying between-scenes filler that forces you to wait to see what happens next. And yet, what would we do without them? Without commercials, there would be no time to grab a snack, use the restroom, refill your drink, etc. There’s a reason why you pay $11 for giant boxes of popcorn and bladder-busting sodas at the theatre, which is: there are no commercials during movies. Anyway, I’ll just establish a rule here: Only one commercial per mascot. Ready? Good, let’s start this list! I’m Crunchy Frog, and this is the Top 11 Commercials.
11. Where’s the beef?
Old ladies, an instantly classic tagline, and the downright insulting of food-icons McDonalds and Burger King, this commercial was different from every other commercial on television. As a matter of fact, I’m willing to bet Wendy’s sold a LOT of burgers after this aired.
10. Super Mario Bros. 3
Not as funny as it is iconic, you can’t call yourself a gamer, and most certainly not a Mario fan, if you haven’t seen this. I wasn’t going to put this on here, but that guy’s hair scared me into it.
9. Atari, Pre-Crash
What I like about this commercial is the extreme irony of it. Less than a year later, the video game crash of 1983 would effectively destroy any hope that the gaming media had a chance at being successful, until……
8. NOW YOU’RE PLAYING WITH POWER!!!!!!
This might be the single, most 80’s-tastic commercial I’ve ever seen. This commercial proved to the kids of the world not to give up when their parents threw out their Atari 2600. Just think, if you were a kid of the eighties and saw this, wouldn’t you want an NES? Turns out, 61.9 million kids did, and they begged their parents to get one. NOW YOUR BEING BRAINWASHED WITH POWER!!!
7. Genesis does what Nintendon’t
I’m a die-hard Nintendo fan, so it’s a little strange I put the Genesis commercial higher than the NES, but just think of the shock that went through the living rooms of America when this aired. Kids had a lot of trouble picking their jaw of the floor after seeing the 16-bit colour and hearing the rockin’ theme song, and parents were have equal trouble with their jaws after seeing the words FREE not once, not twice, but FIVE times! After this, every kid had to agree that the NES was technologically inferior to the Genesis. But once the SNES came out, Nintendo was back in the game and kids everywhere swore their allegiance to either Sega or Nintendo, and schoolyard rivalries quickly began sprouting across the globe.
6. Geico Drill Sergeant
This commercial has some of the funniest, most quotable lines in television history. After this aired, it wasn’t very rare to see some random guy on the street calling his friend a ‘jackwagon.’ And that’s about it. Not much else to say about this. Moving on.
5. The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.
SILVER FISH HAND CATCH!!!!!!!
4. Nintendo Power
Remember when I said that the NES commercial was the most 80’s-tastic commercial ever? I was wrong.
3. Japanese Legend of Zelda
Their are so many reasons why this commercial rocks (in a really cheesy way). The song, the fact that Link is dancing with monsters, the fact Link is played by a woman, the freaky Ganon puppet, and especially the ridiculous spin attack. I have no idea what the Japanese symbols mean throughout the video, but I’m sure it’s something hilarious, if anyone is willing to translate it for me.
2. UNICORNS AND GLITTER!!!!!!!
Easily on of the single funniest mascots ever, this is Flo at her best. What I love about this commercial was that, if I was in that situation, and someone told me unicorns and glitter, i would say “YEAH!” but if someone said pickles and ice cream I would say “NO!”
1. Dairy Queen: Waterskiing